Voice of a lady doctor – a voice of all lady doctors …
In the middle of an ER, walking on the bloodstained floor among the chaotic crowd as the ONLY female doctor on call, I still remember how I was being shouted upon by this mob of drunk boys whose partner was injured (during some inter-mob fight) and wanted me to stitch the bleeding wounds.
How insecure I felt …
However as a 24-year-old – who no matter how brave and strong she is, was still scared of being surrounded by 10 young drunk boys.
I managed to begin examining this boy (can still recall how insecure I felt and wanted security at least for my own self since that room is too small to adjust patient, attendants and a female doctor (my legs still trembling as I examine him and my hands shivering).
I sharply recall BEING SHOUTED UPON by one of his fellows for being QUICK because their fellow was critical according to them!
I am not going to tell a lie, I am actually scared
I remember being scared when I used to be the ONLY one in an ambulance with an unknown driver at 2 am while I shifted a small baby in my arms who used to be thriving for his life!
I remember praying for the availability of a ventilator for that baby and not being a bit concerned about how am I going to come back at 3 am in that ambulance with this driver while my parents are sleeping at home and don’t even know of my whereabouts?!
I remember crying behind the closed doors of my doctor’s room multiple times when I was emotionally and physically exhausted! There is no one incidence to quote, I’ve proven my strengths to my own self like a hundred times!
How exposed we are to all the horrifying circumstances!
Being a house-jobian and trainee of a government hospital in a developing country like Pakistan, we – lady doctors have more horrific stories to tell, be it stitching a young drunk patient’s wounds whose hepatitis status is unknown but their actively bleeding wounds need suturing, getting coughed on by patients who have biopsy-proven Tuberculosis, doing CPR of patients who are HIV proven, taking histories from patients who have STDs and are sexually perverted and make us shit scared deep down with their cheap looks and what not!
At work, we are not beautiful but wise!
But when at work we are not ladies but doctors, when at work we are not sensitive but strong, when at work we are not beautiful but wise!
Apart from the mental stress that we handle in medical colleges, these are few realities that we go through as soon as we step into our professional lives! Just a soft reality check!
And yet this is the result of those hard-earned years, sweat, and bloodstained overalls and weakened eyesights with eyes that can no more wear eyeliners, nails that can no more wear nail colors, feet that no more wear heels and hands that are no more soft, we deserve what Pakistani media and propaganda is giving us! I seriously felt disheartened to see what doctors are going through these days!
Doctors care …
I hate to admit that we give our youth to this nation, we spend years buried in books for that one day where our patient gets healthy and turns back smiling!
Our happinesses are linked to those ill babies whom we shift at 2 am at a distance of one hour not caring for us and our homes but them!
I feel sad to share this all today because this was my choice to do it, I’m proud of myself and will never regret it because it’s between Allah and me and will always be, but to deserve this in return was never my/our expectation!
Our wasted youth and weakened eye sights do not deserve this, please rethink!
Respect your doctor!
Respect your doctor! For when you see them as a patient and shout at them, they are usually sleepless, haven’t had a meal in past 12 hours, are struggling with a migraine, haven’t changed those stinky scrubs/overalls in 24 hours, haven’t attended that phone call from their home, their fathers are concerned about their security and their mothers are waiting for them to be back home too!
A lady is only a DOCTOR once she is a lady doctor! ❣️